This is the question I asked Becky today when she suggested that I should have a personal Blog site, just for me the brand 'Eva Fernandes' at first I told her to go back to eating her wheat free prawn rolls, but then as we discussed it I realised that she had a point. There are things I do that I don't want to put on the Born blog as they are not that work related so make sense to have on a separate personal blog, and actually when I thought about it I have stuff to say that I expect some people would be interested in. I started this blog years ago and only remembered about it when I got 20 spam emails last week saying I had comments to approve, but rather than starting a new one I think I'll keep this one as I find the Google Blogger software easy to use and after re-reading the blog posts so far think they are rather good.
This morning I met with by Mastermind group, who are all gorgeous ladies who are a treat to be around. They are Amanda Rayment, April Whincop, Dominique Sakoilsky, Juliana Houndsfield and Suzanne Yates. We meet at Bubalu on the Gloucester Road every 2 weeks to support each others businesses. Becky is also part of our group but was in Bath today choosing the Noa Noa winter stock so couldn't make it. This week one of the topics we discussed was my 1 to 1 consultancy idea. We've always given excellent customer service at Born spending hours with customers if the need arrises, but I decided that because Becky and I are in the shop less now it would be a good idea to create a formal appointment where we can discuss product needs and also the bit that I love which is talking birth, parenting and complementary health. Will update when I sort this.
On the way to the shop I bumped into Grant, AKA Daddy G, from Massive Attack. He used to shop in Born when his children were babies and is always really friendly when I bump into him in Bristol. We had a little chat about Terry Callier dying last year. He was one of the last people to record with Terry and after he died Massive Attack made public their recordings as a tribute to him. I'd met Terry years ago when he played at the Jazz Cafe, I stayed back after the gig to meet him, and he was as shiny in life as anyone I have met. His death at what is relatively young nowadays (he was on his 60's) was a really shock to me.
In the evening I took Maya to see Juliana. I take her whenever she feels she needs a once over from Julianna's magic Osteopath hands. She gets growing pains and although I give her MSM powder daily sometimes she needs a treatment to ease her tight muscles. I think Maya is coming down with the bug I had after Christmas so am expecting a few days with her in bed to recover. In the meeting today Julianna was talking about how flat head syndrome is now much more common and she recommends people use lambskins form Born for their babies to sleep on. I wonder if the way you were put to sleep as a baby has a bearing on how you sleep as an adult. I slept with mum so was probably on my front, side and back, and now move around loads during the night as do Maya and Jacob, they also ale[t with us so there would have been no chance of them getting a flat head from a repetitive sleep position. James however stays in 1 place practically the whole night and I know he was definitely a cot baby. Julianna was telling me about the process of the Wave Garden, her husband Nic's project to create an artificial wave lake for surfing in Bristol, they have secured the site in Almondsbury and also one in The Isle of White too. It's going to be an amazing venue and is a massive undertaking by Nic and his team.
My Facebook post on wetnursing got some positive comments, I'm never sure about posts like that one as I expect for our more mainstream customers the idea of giving your baby someone else's breast milk is odd. However what's more odd than giving your baby, or indeed an adult, still drinking a cow's breast milk!
I think I'll bed down with Maya tonight to make sure she's ok. We bought her a double bed and the 2 of us often sleep in it. You can never have enough mummy cuddles.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Thursday, November 13, 2008
One reason why I love Born
Today a lady came in the shop to buy washable nappies for her twin girls that are currently in special care in our local hospital. As well as expressing milk for them she has already donated a huge volume of milk to Southampton hospital for their milk bank. Until the Precious Drops Campaign raises enough money to build one we won’t have a milk bank in Bristol. We were all in awe at her committment to breastfeeding and also supplying the Southampton milk bank. Fast forward a couple of hours and my friend who is a pregnancy yoga teacher rings me to ask if I know of anyone who a client of hers would be able to obtain surplus breast milk from for her baby as he needs more than she is able to produce. Yes I do! So I introduce these two ladies to one another and realise how valuable it is to connect people up and how you never know the impact one conversation will have if shared. And of course I realise how much I love Born for who we are in the world.
Friday, July 25, 2008
What's next for BORN
When we opened our first Born store 8 years ago it was always the intention that we would have more than just one shop. After 4 years we opened our second store in Bath then a year later our 3rd shop in Stoke Newington. It was clear after 1 year that the Bath store just wasn't going to work out financially so we closed it after 2 years. It took a year to close it and in the process we lost a considerable amount of money. That setback has taken us another 2 years to get over, but we are now on track with our plans to have more Born shops in the UK and look forward to finding a wonderful investor and business partner to accompany us on the next leg of our journey. It's been a slightly frustrating time as we know the benefit that having Born stores brings to so many people going through a major life transistion and we hope to support many more families with more stores. Hopefully we will soon those investors and will be reporting back with our news!
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Born in New Zealand
Here is the Born New Zealand shop. Baksho the founder has done an amazing shop at setting it up - it looks gorgeous
Monday, November 05, 2007
Breast Feeding and Breast Cancer
On Saturday there was a programme on with singers such as Chaka Khan, Jenifer Lopez, Jamelia all performing in aid of Breast Cancer Awareness Charities. As I watched I couldn't help but be moved by the stories that interspersed the music. However I was also angry - How many of these women may not have had breast cancer and could still be alive now if they had known that the act of breastfeeding their baby for at least 6 months could have reduced their chance of developing breast cancer? I was especially tearful watching Chaka Khan, like Myleen Klas said a living legend, because my legend Minnie Ripperton would have taken that place had she not died of Breast Cancer when she was just 36 - 1 year younger than I am now. Then today I was going through my emails and saw one from The Baby Friendly Initiative that linked to research that proves that there is a link between breastfeeding and reducing your chances of manifesting breast cancer. Here is the link
Monday, October 22, 2007
David Beckham's Bed
Thought I'd share this funny story with you...
Last year I was staying at my parents flat in North London. It’s a small council flat with 3 bedrooms, where I grew up. It was a full house that night with quite a few grandchildren to put to bed and as usual we were discussing who was going to sleep where. My sister said ‘Dad can sleep in David Beckham’s bed’ This was news to me – why was it called David Beckham’s Bed – they all laughed at me – didn’t I know??? NO I didn’t ‘ Why is it called David Beckham’s bed?’ This is what they told me. When my sister Zelia was a teacher at St. Joan or Arc school Highbury, her teachers assistant was a lady called Philomena – she is David Beckham’s Dad’s sister. When David was a young footballer starting out he lived part of the time with his aunt in London. Sleeping on his single bed in her house. Years later Philomena was moving and had some furniture she wanted to get rid of. She asked my sister if she wanted any and my mum and her went to have a look. Mum needed a new single bed and ended up taking David’s old bed home with her – as well as a couple of chest of drawers. This bed is what I am sitting on now as I write this blog! It’s a brown single divan with a pink velvet headboard, not very comfortable either. But what stories would it tell of a young David Beckham lying there at night!!! Since I found out this story I’ve thought of how we could prove it was his so that I could auction it on ebay! As yet I haven’t done anything about it – I’d love to do a charity sale for it as it’s just such a great story. If anyone knows his PR or how to get in touch with him let me know. Zelia unfortunately isn’t in touch with Philomena any more.
Last year I was staying at my parents flat in North London. It’s a small council flat with 3 bedrooms, where I grew up. It was a full house that night with quite a few grandchildren to put to bed and as usual we were discussing who was going to sleep where. My sister said ‘Dad can sleep in David Beckham’s bed’ This was news to me – why was it called David Beckham’s Bed – they all laughed at me – didn’t I know??? NO I didn’t ‘ Why is it called David Beckham’s bed?’ This is what they told me. When my sister Zelia was a teacher at St. Joan or Arc school Highbury, her teachers assistant was a lady called Philomena – she is David Beckham’s Dad’s sister. When David was a young footballer starting out he lived part of the time with his aunt in London. Sleeping on his single bed in her house. Years later Philomena was moving and had some furniture she wanted to get rid of. She asked my sister if she wanted any and my mum and her went to have a look. Mum needed a new single bed and ended up taking David’s old bed home with her – as well as a couple of chest of drawers. This bed is what I am sitting on now as I write this blog! It’s a brown single divan with a pink velvet headboard, not very comfortable either. But what stories would it tell of a young David Beckham lying there at night!!! Since I found out this story I’ve thought of how we could prove it was his so that I could auction it on ebay! As yet I haven’t done anything about it – I’d love to do a charity sale for it as it’s just such a great story. If anyone knows his PR or how to get in touch with him let me know. Zelia unfortunately isn’t in touch with Philomena any more.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Bringing up baby the bio-dynamic way
I watched the beginning of this programme in the hope that unlike the ones gone before the issues of natural parenting would not be sensationalised. So far I can’t say that I’m overjoyed with Channel 4’s take however what struck me this morning when I was woken by our 9 year old crawling into our bed was how us natural parents are the guardians of what we know is instinctively right and at one with the universe.
In the past I have looked at children who have been brought up using a controlled method and thought – ‘they look the same as my daughter, don’t appear to have any weird social abnormalities, are healthy enough despite not being breastfed for 3 years and aren’t dropping down dead from adverse reactions to vaccinations– am I wrong to be harshly judging their parents for wanting to get their life back as soon as possible?’
Then this morning at 4 am with Jacob on one arm and Maya on the other, it dawned on me. We are like the biodynamic farmers who grow amazing fruits, vegetables and animals. On the face of it they may look the same but on an energetic, nutritional and holistic level there is absolutely no comparison. The traditions of biodynamic farming have been nurtured by those farmers who know the rightness of taking care of the earth to allow it to produce the crops and animals that nourish the body in a way that a factory farmed plant or animal just cannot do. As mothers who nurture our babies in the same way we don’t need to be validated or praised because we know when you parent with unconditional love, not needed or wanting anything back the rewards are immeasurable. In fact if you looked into the methods employed by biodynamic farmers – sowing by the moon cycle, harvesting at dawn etc you would wonder what kind of witchcraft they were using. However we are instinctively drawn to these products even if we don’t know this background. Our best selling nappy cream is made by Weleda, a company that uses bio dynamically grown calendula it its preparation. Is the fact that this product is purchased by 90% of our customers fluke or because there is something intangible in it? The same way that there is aliveness is the eyes of a bio dynamically raised child that you can’t quite put your finger on.
One thing that did strike me as interesting was the fact that the parents who like the Truby King/controlled crying/by the clock method appreciated being told what to do. This is something that us natural mums think is wrong – we assure a mother that she will know instinctively what to do. I actually don’t believe this is true. If you have never had the experience of being loved unconditionally how are you going to be able to impart that feeling to your baby? I know that I was unconditionally loved by my parent s – have absolutely no doubt about it, so I know what it feels like to give that to my children. A popular misconception is that unconditional love involves being a doormat and having no boundaries. That’s not true either, a biodynamic farmer will work in harmony with the weeds and ensure that there are birds and ladybirds around to kills off those pesky pests, they don’t let them run riot! Likewise we need to give new mothers direction and instil the ability to give and receive unconditional love. A baby will naturally give unconditional love but if it isn’t received will soon stop.
So this begs the question ‘what should we teach new mothers?’ So here is the advice I would give:
1. Question the need to have tests during pregnancy that do nothing but give you information on whether or not you should abort your baby. If you have already decided you would not have an abortion why have the test? This included blood tests and scans.
2. Employ an independent midwife or doula trained with either Birthlight, Pam Englands Birthing From Within or Amanda Rayment. Or follow Gowri Mothas ‘Gentle Birth Method’.
3. Do Tracy Holloway’s Hypno-babies training to instil in yourself the feelings of unconditional love for yourself and to be able to accept it from your baby. This and No. 2 will give you the best chances of having a natural birth at home. This is not the same as Hypno babies. Tracy’s method of hypnotherapy and Theta DNA subconscious reprogramming results in amazing natural births
4. Do an Active birth class. Dominque in Bristol is an amazing woman and her classes are worth every penny.
5. If giving birth in a hospital make sure it already is or is going through the process of getting Baby Friendly accreditation. Thankfully the UK is adopting the Unicef code that ensures that babies are immediately given to their mother for lots of skin to skin contact, are put on the breast and encouraged to be together 24/7. (Something the NHS is definitely getting right!)
6. Find out about La Leche League parenting. NCT is ok but more the equivalent of free range farming rather the organic or biodynamic. Feels better but doesn’t quite cut it!
7. Breastfeed, breastfeed and breastfeed some more. Enough said. There are free support lines should you need them. Ask BORN for more info.
8. Have a ‘baby moon’ keep people away fro a month and if they do want to come put them to work cleaning up, washing and cooking. If they want a drink tell them where the kitchen in. You sit or lie and keep hold of your baby! A great tip is to keep your dressing gown on – people will treat you differently and want to look after you. It is tradition in India for a new mother to be massaged daily and waited on for at least a month after birth
9. Meet up in reality or online with mums who are already doing it the natural way. Come to BORN and talk to us and we’ll hook you up with groups in the area. Soon we will have this facility online. The Natural Nurturing Network Is a great place to look but for starters go to a La Leche League meeting as these are all over the country. You can go before you have baby too. Surrounding yourself with a support group makes all the difference for those times when you feel like everyone else is sane and you are going mad for insisting that your little baby can’t have salt and vinegar crisps because of the MSG! We have a Bristol Attachment Parenting Yahoo Group that is open to anyone who want to meet up with ‘bio-dynamic’ mums
10. Use washable nappies. Disposables are the equivalent of building a house on a landfill sight and being amazed when you have a methane explosion. If we continue to pollute the planet with toxic rubbish how can we expect it to sustain future generations?
11. Sleep with your baby. La Leche League and the Natural Nurturing Network will give you good practical advice on doing this, as does the Unicef Baby friendly web site. 90% of the world’s mums sleep with their babies. Get a big bed – you spend two thirds of your life in it so enjoy it! You spend less time in your car yet spend more on that. If necessary get a spare bed for what would have been the nursery for your partner to sleep in so you and baby (and your partner) can all get a good nights sleep. It’s useful to use the spare room bed as a boudoir for those times when you want a bit of time away from your baby to practise making more babies! At one point we had a 5ft bed PLUS a 3ft futon next to us. It was luxury. Now we just have a 6ft bed and Maya stays in her double bed most nights. Jacob still sleeps with us. The plan is to have them sleep together until they don’t want to anymore. I slept with my big sister so know this works.
12. Get a good book like William Sears ‘The Baby Book’ to refer to. Despite being a man the book is genius, his wife Marta had a lot to do with it – they have 8 (yes 8!) bio-dynamically raised kids. The fact he’s a doctor gives some the reassurance you may need. Other great books are available from BORN, when sleeping becomes an issue get ‘The No Cry Sleep Solution’ by Elizabeth Pantly
13. Stay away from people who tell you you will be making a rod for your own back. Smile, say ‘thanks for sharing’ and file the information in the rubbish bin.
14. Carry your baby in a sling. Ditch the pram until you need it (after 6 months) use a shopping trolly to get out to the local shops and get to know your area.
15. When your baby wants to eat get advice from La Leche League and Get ‘What Should I feed my Baby’ By Susannah Oliver. Be aware that most health visitors have yet to adopt the advice give by the Baby Friendly Initiative so are unlikely to support you in exclusive breastfeeding for the first 6 months. Make friends with people who will support your choices around food.
If you are reading this feeling guilty or angry with me because you didn’t do these things – fine, I’m not passing judgement, Everyone has the free will to do/eat what they like. But just as the swing towards organic food and farming is in full flow I believe that we are just at the beginning of transforming the way we parent. The methods we currently employ has left us a legacy of dis-empowered, depressed, overweight addicted citizens. In cultures where they have maintained the natural flow these western illnesses are barely visible. It is never too late to change the course of your life or your children’s. The best thing you can do as a parent is to sort your stuff out. If you don’t you will just pass it on to your kids. How can you expect to have happy, contented, vibrant children making a difference to the world if you aren’t? Gandhi said ‘Be the change you want to see in the world’ or to put it in the words of Jesus ‘Physician Heal Thyself’. Children will copy what they see from their parents – that’s how we learn unless we have the guts to question what’s not working. Take stock of your life and make a commitment to yourself to be the person you have always wanted to be but DO IT NOW – the best tool I have found for doing this is Landmark Educations Landmark Forum. This 3 day course is nothing short of miraculous. For me it has had the most transformational effect on my relationships and has given me powerful tools to create a wonderfully fulfilling life.
Tip: None of what you have read is true, it is just what works for me. You can dismiss everything or just take bits of it. The danger in any methodology is in acting like it is the truth. Be a magpie, take the bits that sparkle and resonate with you who you want to be in the world.
Email me if you want more info or need a contact. Eva
In the past I have looked at children who have been brought up using a controlled method and thought – ‘they look the same as my daughter, don’t appear to have any weird social abnormalities, are healthy enough despite not being breastfed for 3 years and aren’t dropping down dead from adverse reactions to vaccinations– am I wrong to be harshly judging their parents for wanting to get their life back as soon as possible?’
Then this morning at 4 am with Jacob on one arm and Maya on the other, it dawned on me. We are like the biodynamic farmers who grow amazing fruits, vegetables and animals. On the face of it they may look the same but on an energetic, nutritional and holistic level there is absolutely no comparison. The traditions of biodynamic farming have been nurtured by those farmers who know the rightness of taking care of the earth to allow it to produce the crops and animals that nourish the body in a way that a factory farmed plant or animal just cannot do. As mothers who nurture our babies in the same way we don’t need to be validated or praised because we know when you parent with unconditional love, not needed or wanting anything back the rewards are immeasurable. In fact if you looked into the methods employed by biodynamic farmers – sowing by the moon cycle, harvesting at dawn etc you would wonder what kind of witchcraft they were using. However we are instinctively drawn to these products even if we don’t know this background. Our best selling nappy cream is made by Weleda, a company that uses bio dynamically grown calendula it its preparation. Is the fact that this product is purchased by 90% of our customers fluke or because there is something intangible in it? The same way that there is aliveness is the eyes of a bio dynamically raised child that you can’t quite put your finger on.
One thing that did strike me as interesting was the fact that the parents who like the Truby King/controlled crying/by the clock method appreciated being told what to do. This is something that us natural mums think is wrong – we assure a mother that she will know instinctively what to do. I actually don’t believe this is true. If you have never had the experience of being loved unconditionally how are you going to be able to impart that feeling to your baby? I know that I was unconditionally loved by my parent s – have absolutely no doubt about it, so I know what it feels like to give that to my children. A popular misconception is that unconditional love involves being a doormat and having no boundaries. That’s not true either, a biodynamic farmer will work in harmony with the weeds and ensure that there are birds and ladybirds around to kills off those pesky pests, they don’t let them run riot! Likewise we need to give new mothers direction and instil the ability to give and receive unconditional love. A baby will naturally give unconditional love but if it isn’t received will soon stop.
So this begs the question ‘what should we teach new mothers?’ So here is the advice I would give:
1. Question the need to have tests during pregnancy that do nothing but give you information on whether or not you should abort your baby. If you have already decided you would not have an abortion why have the test? This included blood tests and scans.
2. Employ an independent midwife or doula trained with either Birthlight, Pam Englands Birthing From Within or Amanda Rayment. Or follow Gowri Mothas ‘Gentle Birth Method’.
3. Do Tracy Holloway’s Hypno-babies training to instil in yourself the feelings of unconditional love for yourself and to be able to accept it from your baby. This and No. 2 will give you the best chances of having a natural birth at home. This is not the same as Hypno babies. Tracy’s method of hypnotherapy and Theta DNA subconscious reprogramming results in amazing natural births
4. Do an Active birth class. Dominque in Bristol is an amazing woman and her classes are worth every penny.
5. If giving birth in a hospital make sure it already is or is going through the process of getting Baby Friendly accreditation. Thankfully the UK is adopting the Unicef code that ensures that babies are immediately given to their mother for lots of skin to skin contact, are put on the breast and encouraged to be together 24/7. (Something the NHS is definitely getting right!)
6. Find out about La Leche League parenting. NCT is ok but more the equivalent of free range farming rather the organic or biodynamic. Feels better but doesn’t quite cut it!
7. Breastfeed, breastfeed and breastfeed some more. Enough said. There are free support lines should you need them. Ask BORN for more info.
8. Have a ‘baby moon’ keep people away fro a month and if they do want to come put them to work cleaning up, washing and cooking. If they want a drink tell them where the kitchen in. You sit or lie and keep hold of your baby! A great tip is to keep your dressing gown on – people will treat you differently and want to look after you. It is tradition in India for a new mother to be massaged daily and waited on for at least a month after birth
9. Meet up in reality or online with mums who are already doing it the natural way. Come to BORN and talk to us and we’ll hook you up with groups in the area. Soon we will have this facility online. The Natural Nurturing Network Is a great place to look but for starters go to a La Leche League meeting as these are all over the country. You can go before you have baby too. Surrounding yourself with a support group makes all the difference for those times when you feel like everyone else is sane and you are going mad for insisting that your little baby can’t have salt and vinegar crisps because of the MSG! We have a Bristol Attachment Parenting Yahoo Group that is open to anyone who want to meet up with ‘bio-dynamic’ mums
10. Use washable nappies. Disposables are the equivalent of building a house on a landfill sight and being amazed when you have a methane explosion. If we continue to pollute the planet with toxic rubbish how can we expect it to sustain future generations?
11. Sleep with your baby. La Leche League and the Natural Nurturing Network will give you good practical advice on doing this, as does the Unicef Baby friendly web site. 90% of the world’s mums sleep with their babies. Get a big bed – you spend two thirds of your life in it so enjoy it! You spend less time in your car yet spend more on that. If necessary get a spare bed for what would have been the nursery for your partner to sleep in so you and baby (and your partner) can all get a good nights sleep. It’s useful to use the spare room bed as a boudoir for those times when you want a bit of time away from your baby to practise making more babies! At one point we had a 5ft bed PLUS a 3ft futon next to us. It was luxury. Now we just have a 6ft bed and Maya stays in her double bed most nights. Jacob still sleeps with us. The plan is to have them sleep together until they don’t want to anymore. I slept with my big sister so know this works.
12. Get a good book like William Sears ‘The Baby Book’ to refer to. Despite being a man the book is genius, his wife Marta had a lot to do with it – they have 8 (yes 8!) bio-dynamically raised kids. The fact he’s a doctor gives some the reassurance you may need. Other great books are available from BORN, when sleeping becomes an issue get ‘The No Cry Sleep Solution’ by Elizabeth Pantly
13. Stay away from people who tell you you will be making a rod for your own back. Smile, say ‘thanks for sharing’ and file the information in the rubbish bin.
14. Carry your baby in a sling. Ditch the pram until you need it (after 6 months) use a shopping trolly to get out to the local shops and get to know your area.
15. When your baby wants to eat get advice from La Leche League and Get ‘What Should I feed my Baby’ By Susannah Oliver. Be aware that most health visitors have yet to adopt the advice give by the Baby Friendly Initiative so are unlikely to support you in exclusive breastfeeding for the first 6 months. Make friends with people who will support your choices around food.
If you are reading this feeling guilty or angry with me because you didn’t do these things – fine, I’m not passing judgement, Everyone has the free will to do/eat what they like. But just as the swing towards organic food and farming is in full flow I believe that we are just at the beginning of transforming the way we parent. The methods we currently employ has left us a legacy of dis-empowered, depressed, overweight addicted citizens. In cultures where they have maintained the natural flow these western illnesses are barely visible. It is never too late to change the course of your life or your children’s. The best thing you can do as a parent is to sort your stuff out. If you don’t you will just pass it on to your kids. How can you expect to have happy, contented, vibrant children making a difference to the world if you aren’t? Gandhi said ‘Be the change you want to see in the world’ or to put it in the words of Jesus ‘Physician Heal Thyself’. Children will copy what they see from their parents – that’s how we learn unless we have the guts to question what’s not working. Take stock of your life and make a commitment to yourself to be the person you have always wanted to be but DO IT NOW – the best tool I have found for doing this is Landmark Educations Landmark Forum. This 3 day course is nothing short of miraculous. For me it has had the most transformational effect on my relationships and has given me powerful tools to create a wonderfully fulfilling life.
Tip: None of what you have read is true, it is just what works for me. You can dismiss everything or just take bits of it. The danger in any methodology is in acting like it is the truth. Be a magpie, take the bits that sparkle and resonate with you who you want to be in the world.
Email me if you want more info or need a contact. Eva
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